ROSES AND CHOCOLATES ARE FOR AMATEURS
I love you. Not in some fakey Hollywood rom-com kind of way. My love for you is a passionate, intense, share-my-last-slice of bacon kind of love. That’s why I’m giving you this whole pack, babe. You remind me of bacon, and not just because I want to devour you in one sitting. You sizzle: like bacon. You’re hot, like the skillet. My mouth starts to water when I look at you. And like the contents of this package, you’re rare. This bacon is crafted from dry cured and hickory smoked pork bellies the old fashioned way: with love. See those red pepper flakes? They add a little kick, like you. I know you can be salty sometimes. But that makes me want to drizzle syrup all over you. Yeah, I said that on bacon label. Happy Valentine’s Day: I love you like bacon and that’s really a lot.